Therapist,Wellness Coach, Maternal Wellness Advocate,
Homeschooling Boy Mom, and Amateur Painter
For 15 years I've been a therapist. And before I became a mom, I was also a certified wellness coach — I knew my body, I knew my tools, I knew what I needed. Journaling, somatic work, meditation — these were my holy grail.
And then I had my son. And the math completely changed.
I've always been the high-achieving, ambitious, "I can handle anything" type. Like a lot of millennial women of color, I built my whole identity around being capable. And I was.
But motherhood changes the math. The margin doesn't disappear because you're doing something wrong — it disappears because early motherhood is genuinely a lot.
About five months in, I found myself Googling: "I know it's not postpartum depression but I feel different." That search led me to matrescence, and around the same time, to postnatal depletion. I filed it away. Fascinating. I didn't yet realize it was describing me.
Then my son turned two and we moved from Boston to Houston. New city, new business, no village, everything hitting at once. I wasn't registering anything was catastrophically wrong. I was just pushing through — the way I always had. The way I had been taught to.
Until my husband found me crouched on the kitchen floor, in tears, our son crawling all over me. That was the moment.
I loved my child deeply. I loved being a mom. But I did not love motherhood. And I wasn't willing to accept that. Not after I busted my behind to build this dream life.
So I went back to what I had learned about depletion. Got labs done. Focused on the basics. And once I saw improvements there — then I brought my wellness practices back in. That's when everything finally stuck. The tools were the same. The sequence was different.
I started teaching this to my therapy clients. They shifted too. I went deeper — certifications in maternal health, learning everything I could about what actually happens to a woman's body, nervous system, hormones, and identity in this season. And the clearer it became: the reason nothing was working wasn't the tools. It was that nobody was starting where the problem actually lives: the body.
Think about it. Mothering is almost entirely body-led. You carry your baby on your hip and your baby on your chest. You nurse through the night. You wake before your body is ready. You hold, soothe, regulate, and physically absorb the needs of another human being — all day, every day. You pour from your body before you've had a chance to fill it.
So when we talk about healing depletion, we have to start there too. With the body. Because that's where motherhood lives — and that's where the recovery has to begin.
That's the insight Rooted is built on.
CORE BELIEFS
01
MOTHERHOOD lives IN THE BODY
02
SELF-CARE can't fix SYSTEMIC HARM
03
IT'S THE SYSTEM, not YOU
04
YOU GET TO be a well woman IN MOTHERHOOD
05
MOTHERHOOD can be the site OF LIBERATION
06
SELFHOOD and MOTHERHOOD CAN COEXIST
Today I know exactly where to look when I'm off. I know the tools that truly support me and what drains me. I know what brings me joy. I mother from my own standards. And I find motherhood — this hard, unrelenting, beautiful season — genuinely enjoyable. Not perfect. Not without struggle. But genuinely enjoyable.
That's what I want for you.
One more thing — because I need to say it. I know why we're depleted. I know the weight of systems that weren't built for us. The patriarchal, racist, and oppressive structures that shape the institution of motherhood and make our experience of it harder than it needs to be. I stand with the women working to change those systems. My activism lives in this work.
But I refused to wait for those systems to change before I decided I had the right to be well.
Because I do. And so do you.
xo, Vanessa
getting personal
behind the therapist for moms
tea > coffee,
every time. just me?
I've ran 2 half marathons. and several short races + a Spartan race
happiest outdoors, and with nature
I love a good capsule wardrobe; especially in my early mom era